Soccer….Family Style

Do we really need to rehash the 4-0 slaughter of the USMNT by Spain on Saturday? (You can always read the piece I wrote for Aerys Sports on the subject.) I was chatting with a friend in Germany, who pointed out that Spain destroyed Germany too, and I guess I’ll claim a victory in the idea that many Americans believed in the US’s ability to compete with the reigning World Cup champions.

Moving on. Gold Cup has started, and I’m leaving today for a road trip to Detroit for the USMNT opening game against Canada. I’s excited to see my American Outlaws buddies, and excited to debut our new 20 x 30 US flag in the stadium! We decided that we needed a couple days on our own, so the kids are staying home this trip, resting up for their road trip to Kansas City next week. between Gold Cup and the USWNT playing in the Women’s World Cup in Germany, it should be a pretty great summer for US Soccer fans. Especially if the dramatic win over Mexico in USWNT’s warm up is any indication.

Look for the Midwest Mama flag at the Detroit and KC games, and for updates here soon!!

As a woman who has refereed and been a supporter of soccer since the early 90s, I’ve seen plenty of FIFA decisions come and go, but this is by far, the most offensive and ridiculous. The Iranian women’s football team was banned from playing an Olympic qualifier vs Jordan moments before the game, according to the Guardian.CO.UK. FIFA determined that their uniforms covered too much of their bodies to comply with the Laws of the Game.

The rule that this uniform supposedly violates states that “Players and officials shall not display political, religious, commercial or personal messages or slogans in any language or form on their playing or team kits.” Unless there’s some message printed across the back of these uniforms, I don’t see how this is broadcasting a religious message. It’s a simple covering that is in the same color as the rest of the kit.

It makes me sick to think that FIFA is taking any part in limiting the participation of women in soccer in any part of the world, but particularly in Iran. It has been my experience as a woman refereeing in theUS, that even in one of the most liberated countries in the world, there are still many challenges for equality for women. Knowing the discrimination I faced as a referee in theUS, I can only imagine what these women have had to go through to play inIran. For them to reach the level of Olympic qualifying, only to be turned back by a FIFA decision that approves of head coverings, just not that much head covering, is absurd, and should be deeply offensive to all fans of the game.

Let these women prove themselves on the field FIFA. Stop making trifling uniform decisions and allow this team of women to play on.

You’ve seen them: the Big Ass Flag and the Baby Ass Flag, the giant flags that cover a big part of the stadium at US Soccer games. I love these flags. We play better when I’m under the flag (we do…it’s a mojo thing). I’ve hidden under that flag when Mexicans were throwing stuff at us in Azteca Stadium.  I love when we have a flag in the stadium for every game.

Here’s the problem: we don’t have a flag in the Midwest. And it’s expensive to ship the flags. And, American Outlaws, I do believe that both the Big and the Baby, are owned by Sam’s Army. It’s just plain unacceptable!

HELP AMERICAN OUTLAWS DES MOINES BUY THE FLAG OF THE MIDWEST!

I propose we all band together to help AO Des Moines buy a 20′ x 30′ flag. We may not be the biggest chapter, but we typically have members at every game around the Midwest. Our founding members go to ever World Cup, and we travel to Nashville, Chicago, KC, and Detroit. You want the flag, we’ll bring it. And we want to bring it to the Gold Cup!

OUR GOAL: $650 by June 1, 2011

That’s $550-600 for the flag, $50 for shipping. If we get a better deal, we’ll put it into the flag fund, in case we have to ship the flag to a game somewhere (we usually drive, but those $25 checked bag fees add up fast!)

How to help:

1. Send Money (memo it Midwest Baby Flag)!

Dwolla us! Go to Dwolla.com, send money to 812-460-2944 or tweet money to @TanyaKeith

Paypal us! Paypal to TKeith71 (at) yahoo (dot) com

Do it up old school: Get a check or cash to Tanya Keith c/o Simply for Giggles 510 East Locust            #120, Des Moines IA 50309

2. Tell your friends to send money!

That’s it! I really want to make this happen, and I hope all of you who I’ve mentioned this project to were serious when you said “I’d send money for that!” Go do it!! I will post updates on our progress!

Des Moines Menace has put together a sweet deal for local soccer fans! Red Army Supporters and American Outlaws members are eligible to get a $50 keepsake Season Pass for ALL GAMES! (Pre-season, post-season, Open Cup, every home game!) Not only is that better than half off gate tickets, it gets you an Ultra Fan credential that lets you skip the line at the gate and walk right into the stadium like the VIP that you are.

Interested? Contact Tanya Keith from American Outlaws Des Moines (that’s me!) TanyaHKeith (at) gmail (dot) com or contact Todd Meiners at the Menace tcm (at) menacesoccer (dot) com and we’ll hook you up. But do it now! Home opener is May 14!

If you love US Soccer, you have to want to see this video produced. Jay DeMerit is one of my favorite stories in US Soccer, not just because he had the guts to take a long shot chance to go play in the English Premiership, but mostly because he did it coming from Wisconsin. As a passionate soccer fan raising kids in Des Moines, Iowa, there’s a special place in my heart for players that make it from the Midwest (it makes me feel less guilty about not taking my kids back to my Jersey homeland!)

As if that wasn’t enough, DeMerit suffered a scratch on his eye from a contact lens, which became infected and required a vision and career saving corneal transplant, and is my favorite “why I will never wear contacts on my eye” stories. I’m not sure if they’ll cover that in the movie, but you have got to love this players spirit and determination to succeed against adversity of all kinds.

Jay has a great story about taking a chance on making your dreams happen, and it deserves to be told. I hope you’ll go check out the Kickstarter page for Rise and Shine: the Jay DeMerit Story and help fund this project (and get rewards for doing it!)

It’s Portland Timber home opener and it’s like old home week for me. They’re hosting the Chicago Fire, which is about as close as Des Moines gets to a local team. The referee is Riccardo Salazar, my husband’s roommate at National Referee Camp in 2000, their rookie year as National Referees. But most importantly, it’s Portland. The expansion team I’ve been most excited about coming into MLS.

I am only realizing tonight how big a Timbers fan I am. It’s a well established fact that I love a good supporters section, especially a team that has a better supporters section than their level of play. Timbers had a MLS level supporters section when they were still in the A-League. How do I know? Because my husband is an idiot.

Yep, in 2005, I was all set to celebrate my 10th wedding anniversary. I didn’t have a specific plan, but I figured….double digits, we’ll do something. Until a few months beforehand, when my husband came to me with that “I’m already in the dog house” look. My ordinarily awesome husband forgot to block his soccer schedule, and got scheduled to referee the Timbers ON OUR ANNIVERSARY. Not the same weekend. On the day. Ooohh I was pissed OFF. You do not turn down a referee assignment in the A-League, so that wasn’t an option, but I was sure as hell not spending my 10th wedding anniversary by myself.

So I went to Portland, with my referee ticket at the half line. Yee ha. Then I looked (longingly) across the stadium. It looked like the Portland fans were having a righteous good time. That’s the only invitation I need. I joined their party and was instantly in awe of this amazing supporters section. They sang, cheered, they were funny. It was great. Then they found out that I was the referee’s wife, on my wedding anniversary. They became my supporters, ripping on my husband, sharing their Timbers swag, and buying me beer. It was, by far, the best time I’ve ever had at an away game, and it wasn’t even MLS.

Now I see their supporters on the MLS broadcast, and I’m right there with them. They’ve got great tifo, they’re loud, they’ve got Timber Joey cutting off a huge chunk of log every time they score! It’s fantastic stuff. So count me in Timbers. I’ve been a supporter since May 28th, 2005.

Columbus, OH, you’ve been replaced. This blog post is dedicated to the soccer people in Nashville, who just proved to me that the US can have a better home field advantage than Crew Stadium. Thanks to American Outlaws Nashville, American Outlaws reps Matt Connolly and Brian Hexsel, there were excellent night before, pre-game bar, and tailgate events. But what really made Nashville rock my world was “Big Kenny,” stadium security guy.

I was not paying attention to the time and with the added time getting the kids into rain gear, we were very late getting into the stadium. So late that the standing section was full to about halfway back. I hate sitting that far back. Seriously hate it. Like cannot stand it. People don’t sing, and it ruins my mood and I did not drive 10 hours to be a grouch at the game. The whole thing was chaos because the kids had to go to the bathroom, so we had to split up at a critical decision making point. It was insanity for a while there. This was the one time I wished we were back with our Sam’s Army friends, who would have made room for us in the front (or reminded me what it was time to get in the stadium!), but stay tuned, as usual, it all worked out for the best.

I resigned myself to the middle of the section, figuring I’d hang out by the front gate as long as they’d let me. We set up camp, and the kids and I went up front to watch the warm up and mug for the cameras. As expected, the security guys came and shooed us away right after the anthems, and I took a few deep breaths, and figured I was meant to be the song leader for the back of the pack. I got up on an aisle seat and started leading off the guys in the front. Doug was on the drum leading with me and it was fun. Aviva, Doug and I led a few chants together, which was really great, especially that catch a glimpse feeling it gave me of Aviva’s future adventures.

Security made another sweep through the section with two guards this time. As they came down the row, I stepped off my chair. The bigger guy said “Thanks” and I replied, “No problem, I’m just trying to see the song leaders in front to get the timing.” They worked their way down the aisle and by the time they were on their way back up, I was on the seat again. The other guard glared at me, and they got in a bit of a heated discussion out of my earshot, but as they approached, the big guy said “if she breaks the chair, she’ll pay for it, she knows that.” I smiled and said “Hey man, I’m just here to have a good time, I’ll buy it if I break it” as I extended my hand to shake his. The grouchy guard shoved my hand away. Hmm….a hard sell. Okay….so I said “Listen, I came here from Des Moines, I’m just here to have fun.” While grouch man grumbled, the big guy lit up “You came here all the way from Des Moines?” he said, incredulous. I laughed, “Yeah, from Des Moines, Iowa.” He said “Des Moines? Shoot! Girl, you knock yourself out. Have fun!” I have never hugged a security guard before, but at that moment, “Big Kenny” became my favorite security guard EVER.

You see, usually, security guards rule with an iron fist and a boss-man attitude. They’re in charge, and they don’t care if you’re rioting or song leading, it’s all “sit down and don’t give me a hard time.” Finally, a guard that gets that you charm more bees with honey than vinegar! The truth is, I think most ultra fans want to get along with security, as long as we can do our thing in (relative) peace.

I led a few more chants up at the top, but when my son asked if we could go down front, I jumped at the chance to take him. We spent the game mostly at the front right corner of the section, having a blast. My friend Big Kenny came down and instead of yelling at me to get out of the aisle, told the front row “Y’all need to make room for this lady, she came from Iowa.” God bless you Big Kenny, you are a prince among security guards.

We may have lost, but I’ll come back to Nashville for a game any day. Southern hospitality, a stadium that was silent when the US was scored on (that can happen??) and a crowd that really seemed to be getting into it. Nashville, I was really looking forward to seeing the game you’d put out there, and you did not disappoint. I love ya, Tennessee.

I think I really should start a gratitude journal. My friend, Ben Milne posted to facebook, asking what was good about all our days. After two days on the road, I was getting a little tired an cranky, and I was letting a disappointing hotel room get me down. His question reminded me that despite having a stupid argument about booking hotels, my day was “past epic, all the way to sublime.”

First of all, at breakfast this morning, our 3-1/2 year old son read for the first time ever. Lately I’ve been feeling like I miss everything about my kids. They’re growing up so blindingly fast and I am deep in working-mama-guilt-world that I’m missing the whole thing. So having 20 hours of car time with my kiddos is blissful and exceeding expectation. And they’re so happy to have my undivided attention, we’re just basking around each other like a trio of happy goof balls.

But I digress….my son read! He looked at the menu at breakfast and read out loud, while pointing to the item “Eggs, I want eggs.” My husband asked him what else he could read on the menu and he said “Pancakes” and pointed again. Eureka! And the best part? I know how he learned it. His favorite book is the Max and Ruby one about making a birthday cake, where Ruby gives Max a shopping list and one of the items is EGGS!! I read it to him at least three times this week and you could just see his wheel turning as he looked at Ruby’s shopping lists. Take THAT, Mama Guilt!

We took the kids up in the St Louis Arch, and I (thanks to Twitter!) got advance ticket information on their website, including a discount on the Mississippi River cruise. Kids on a boat are fun, and better yet, we managed to keep blanket doggy and all sneakers on the boat with us! Winning! The kids thought the arch was amazing, and it was fun watching them discuss the engineering of the whole thing with their Mech E Dad.

Then, just outside Nashville tonight, our darling daughter slammed her finger so hard in the door that we had to do the parental pantomime/eye contact discussion of “Is it broken? It may be. I think so too. What should we do?” You can’t say that stuff out loud around our high strung, very anxious little girl, but that’s why this is actually a highlight. Communication worked, we got the finger triaged and determined that waiting the hour until Nashville was better than searching for some regional hospital. And by the time we hit city limits, the icing and taping had worked, swelling was going down, and her chatter had turned to figuring out how to clap one handed at the game and how much her Angry Birds scores would suffer.

We arrived in Nashville at almost 10, but I had promised the nearly passed out kids they could stop by the American Outlaws bar for a Sprite before bed and say hello to everyone (well, we were supposed to get in around 9). We got them sodas and the other American Outlaws started chatting with the kids.

Of course I’m partial, but I really do LOVE watching my kids in a group of adults. For the most part, even exhausted, they amaze me. They chatted, let me brag on how many caps they each have, and my beautiful girl led a song from on top of a barstool. I realize this is not what most parents hope their children aspire to, but for me….in a word….sublime.

And the soccer starts later today!!

Ahh….soccer road trips!! I remember when jumping in a car and driving 10 hours to Canton OH for Warrior Classic was no big deal. We’d do 5 hours to Chicago or 3 to Kansas City out and back same day because we were too cheap to get a hotel room. But then we had a couple kids, and the road trips tapered off. We still do Chicago and Kansas City, but now we spring for the room overnight.

So when Nashville was announced, I was torn. We have a family pact to go to every game within driving distance without work conflict. I’ve driven to Tennessee before and it was NOT PRETTY. The girl I was traveling with and I got into a huge fight, and what started out really fun ended up being an unbearable ride home and the end of our friendship. But 10 hours….it’s really just outside “reasonable distance.” And the game is on a Tuesday, which in my retail world is a GREAT time to go to a soccer game. Tempting…..

So I talked to the husband. The original plan was to fly into the NJ game, drive to Tennessee, fly back to Des Moines. Two problems: 1) Holy expensive Batman! 2) NJ game was on Saturday, the unfriendliest retail day to travel. Plan A: Scrapped.

Plan B: What if we just drove to Nashville and back? 10 hours each way? With 2 kids? Hmmmm…..  Well, St Louis is on the way. We could spend a day there on the way out to break up the drive. That could work.

We put Plan B in motion. Now, I should know by now that people are not good with people who live big lives. I started to talk about the trip and got several incredulous “You’re driving 10 hours? To soccer?” (I mean REALLY? Is this shocking? I flew 24 hours to South Africa. I flew 14 hours to Korea and then I was 5 months pregnant. 10 hours in a car kinda pales by comparison, don’t you think?)

So I stopped telling people about the trip (including my parents apparently…. oops, sorry, Mom). And I started just getting the kids ready. Talking to them about the trip. Letting them get crazy costumes for the game (wait until you see them!) And I’ve been getting pretty psyched up for this trip, especially after the 1 – 1 tie vs Argentina yesterday.

So now, I’m sitting in a St Louis hotel room, listening to my family snoring, thinking this trip was a genius idea. We did 6 hours of driving, no music, no videos. Think about that. Six hours. Just talking with my family. When do I ever get 6 hours to just listen to the kids chatter about the world and play old school low tech highway games. (Hey Mom! How about when we see a farm animal, we call out what animal we see!?)

So Day 1, we’re more than halfway there, and I’m already glad I came. See you in Nashville, soccer fans!