Soccer….Family Style

Match Fit USA posted today about trouble in Australia’s A-League, as well as in MLS, with cursing in the supporters section disrupting the enjoyment of women, in particular mothers with children, who would also be watching the game. It took only minutes for me to get Twitter mentions as the representative of mothers who still want to sit with the supporters. But I’ll go a step further.

I’m a mother who LOVES the supporters section. I will sit with the supporters even if I’m not one of them. I just think it’s more fun to watch a game with the people who are passionate about the game. And yes, I take my 3 year old and 8 year old with me into the supporters section, because they also LOVE singing and chanting and dancing under the banner.

This means that I *gasp* have to talk to my children about how things are in the world. There is “stadium language” that is OK to use at a soccer game that we would NEVER use on a play date. And when possible, we do teach the kids the kid friendly version of cheers. For instance, instead of “You suck, A–hole” our kids know it as “Your socks have holes!” It works, I swear.

There are times when they do pick up some rather nasty language. We took the kids to the Chicago Fire game the night before a USMNT game and in Section 8 (the supporters section). The Fire was playing Columbus Crew, who wears head to toe yellow. And to the tune of “Yellow Submarine”, I notice my 3 year old son had picked up with perfect pronunciation “Why are you such a yellow f—ing team?”

OK, so I wasn’t thrilled, but along with my dread of ever having him sing that song in preschool, I was a little proud. Here was my little guy, singing away with the rest of the supporters. It was the same swell of pride I felt in Germany in 2006 when his then 3-1/2 year old sister led a train full of soccer fans in “Everywhere we go”. I think it’s cool that my kids are supporters, and I’m willing to take the good with the bad. Which is easier for me to post a few weeks after the fact, now that my son has not belted our the Chicago Fire version of Yellow Sub in the middle of the supermarket.

See the guy up there? In front of the crowd? He is the song leader for the supporters section. And he’s my favorite guy at any given game.

I got in an argument with someone at the 2010 World Cup over this. A WC virgin was getting annoyed at our section’s song leader because the virgin didn’t want to sing or cheer. He was yelling at the song leader to turn around and watch the game. He was berating him for coming all the way to South Africa and not watching the game.

I look at that fact the other way around. The song leader came all the way to South Africa to lead a section of fans in songs and chants. It’s one thing to get up in front of your friends, when you know they’ll follow whatever cheer you start. It’s a whole other level of guts to get up in front of a mixed section: supporters, fans, people who just got tickets, and a few opposing fans and try to lead that section in chants.

I was remembering the song leaders (from Sparta, New Jersey…a couple of great guys) from US vs England as I watched this guy at the Fire last night lead my kids through a bunch of cheers. It made me think of how proud I would be if one day my kids were up in front of a section, leading soccer chants. I may combust from sheer pride.

I think, other than raising a national team player, a song leader might be the next best thing. It takes confidence, leadership, bravery, public speaking. It means you have the respect of your peers. There are worse things your kids could do for sure.

For the Sparta guys, I just pointed out to my virgin seat mate that there were plenty of sections that weren’t singing, and if he didn’t want to sing, perhaps he could be respectful and just move. Rest assured if it’s my kid leading the cheers, I won’t be so diplomatic.

Many of you who know me through soccer don’t know that I own a baby/children’s store, Simply for Giggles, which has it’s own blog. It’s pretty rare that I get to write about a topic that’s appropriate for both of my blogs, but every once in a while, my worlds collide. And so it was one lazy Sunday on July 25th when I got a text from one of my soccer travel buddies that said “Get in Twitter right now and school Beasley on nursing in public.” It’s rare that my loves of natural parenting and soccer collide with such force, but USMNT player Damarcus Beasley has become the next soccer player featured in my blogs.

Let me preface by saying Beasley was at one point my husband’s favorite player. He has a Beasley jersey that has the letters almost worn off it. I’m more of a Clint Dempsey girl, myself, but Beasley gets (more than?) his fair share of hero worship at our house. So of course I couldn’t resist running to Twitter to see what was going on. At 2:33 he posted “WOW!! I’m at Benihana restaurant RIGHT now and the lady in front of me is Breast feeding her child at the table????? Is that normal ladies??”

Now that’s a reasonable question, to which I could have responded “Well, you’re eating there…seems normal to me” or some other lighthearted response. But he went on “I’m tryin to eat! I’m seriously lookin at this ladies boob while she feeding her son.. No blanket nothing.. Jus out in open! C’mon now!” And that’s where I have to get off the US Soccer bus and go off.

I’ve been a nursing mom for a total of 4-1/2 years, and I’ve only been called out once in the hundreds of public places I’ve breastfed my kids (including several soccer stadiums! Bonus points if you were at Gold Cup in 2003 and were part of the “Soccer Baby” chant…that was my daughter).  Now keep in mind, I own a children’s store, so it’s really not in my best interest to cause a scene, and I often use the Bebe Au Lait Hooter Hiders or Moby Wraps we sell to stealth feed, but I also know that the time I got called out in the middle of Granite City, you could literally see none of my body. But someone apparently became uncomfortable with the idea that he might see me, and asked the manager to speak to me. I remember it was mortifying until I had my husband take a photo of me so I could see that there was nothing offensive going on.

Now, I realize that there is a huge range of what possibly happened at the restaurant where Beasley was eating. Maybe this woman was intentionally stretching her exhibitionist wings and really was creating a scene, but I kind of doubt it. There are far easier ways to show yourself off than breastfeeding. And with the rates of American women who breastfeed far below desired numbers, it would be nice if sports stars and role models could do something to make Americans as comfortable around breastfeeding as they are watching the game at Hooters.

I know, it’s a stretch. But certainly we can aspire to the day when Beasley and other sports stars just leave a breastfeeding mama alone, even if they can’t tweet “Saw a mama breastfeeding at _________. So cool that she’s doing that for her baby.” We could gt US Soccer to do a promo that all women nursing at US Soccer  games (hey, I know I have and I know I’m not the only one!) get an autographed jersey. For now, I’ll be satisfied with the fact that DMB tweeted something directly to me. It may have said “Calm down” but all I saw was @tanyakeith, a big moment for me as a US Soccer supporter, regardless of content.

If you watched the World Cup game on ABC, you may have heard the commentators debating the appropriateness of the stadium crowd booing.  Uruguay’s Suarez, the player who’s handball denied a late goal that would have allowed Ghana to advance instead of Uruguay. It’s a debate taking place on Twitter, my facebook wall, but fortunately, my husband and I agree on this one.

If you traveled to South Africa this year, you couldn’t miss the “Africa United” campaign, which I think is great. Judging by the fans reaction, I’d say this was a successful attempt to unite African nations to feel like all of Africa was hosting, and all of Africa would cheer for African teams. You could certainly feel South Africa’s adoration for Ghana in the stadium during #RSA, I mean #GHA vs #USA.

And if you’re like me, you liked the booing. I like virtually any unified fan response. As the former player commentators (Harkes, Lalas) both came out in support of the booing. Suarez is a big boy, and he’s a professional player, it’s not like he’s going to be harmed by knowing the home crowd didn’t like him. This was a sustained, dedicated fan response that didn’t involve a vuvuzela. The only way this could be improved for me is if they had written a song about Suarez and sung it all game.

But if you’re not like me, answer me this: You’ve NEVER booed at the sports game? Never done a cheer or song that was less than positive? Never done the goal kick hum followed by “Your socks have holes!” (That’s what they’re shouting, right mama?) If that’s the case, than you can argue against me. If you can’t say that, then it’s time to leave your glass house.