Soccer….Family Style

Remember That Guy Who Stole Prairie’s Banner? You’ll LOVE This. Meet Banner Thief #1, Noah Spake!
July 18, 2013, 11:35 pm
Filed under: Supporter Culture

Last year, at the World Cup Qualifier in Kansas City, someone stole two banners that I’d carried from Boston for Prairie Clayton (@Hoover_Dam on Twitter). It was an absolute panic of a night for me, thinking that I’d lost banners that belonged to my friend, it took me away from my celebration with family and friends as I had to search through the banners collected by the stadium, and talk to stadium ops about where they might be. I felt horrible that night, and ever since then, I have been nervous about taking tifo into the stadium, especially when I have to have items in two separate areas. Yes, the banners eventually made their way back to Prairie via CSI SKC, but this incident forever changed my experience of bringing tifo around the US. We agreed not to press charges against the anonymous thieves, who, we were told, were college kids who were very sorry for what they’d done, were terrified that they’d been caught, and were returning the banners.

Then Grant Wahl tweeted a photo of one of the banners yesterday, and Noah Spake ( tweeted back “It honestly looked better in my dorm room.” which was seen by Prairie, who called him out, and my friend @WeberKing, who showed amazing restraint in not tagging me until an hour in to the banter that ensued.

Noah offered what struck me as a pretty empty apology to Prairie and I. I mean, how sorry can you really be when you’re tweeting Grant Wahl, Damarcus Beasley, and the person you stole it from that you think it looked better in your dorm room? Kinda takes some of the sincerity out of it, doncha think? Prairie accepted it, which is fine, but I’m sick of stuff like this: people who give a half-hearted apology, then go right back to acting like they could care less. So I called his bluff. No, I don’t accept your apology, Noah, go do some community service, show me that you actually FEEL remorseful. Think about this long enough to at least be able to give a sincere answer when Prairie asks “Why did you do this?”

As my teacher friend @Dutkae pointed out, Noah is one of “those guys” who throws a fit better than my five year old when asked to sincerely apologize for a wrong-doing. To him, this is ancient history that has no impact on his life today, so obviously I’m over-reacting.

Only I’ve never gotten to say anything to Noah. I never knew who he was until he outed himself, bragging about the banner he “snagged” on Twitter. So while it was several months ago, it still impacts my life, and he’s still not sorry. I would have been happy calling him out for the thief that he is, and showing him as a childish prick that’s not even capable of a sincere apology. I quit tweeting about this 24 hours ago.

But Noah wasn’t done yet. He got his friends involved, tweeting: “You should tweet them, piss them off.”  Tweeting me more than a dozen times, and encouraging his friends to blow up my twitter feed all day today (can’t wait to see my Klout score for this week!) This harassment continued all day, as I worked on my house, as I took my kids to the pool, as I went to ceramics studio…my phone buzzed all day long with accusations that I should drop it…as I sat in radio silence. I assumed he would eventually stop.

Then Noah tweeted this: “@hoover_dam @WeberKing @iamthorandmore @TanyaKeith @TaylorTwellman Haha we are meeting at a future game sometime, all of you!”  Are you effing kidding me? My husband loved that one. He said “Yeah. Let’s meet. Then I’ll take your phone, or your car while you’re not looking. I’ll give it back in about a month and everything will be cool, right?” What you fail to understand in your inexperienced, naive little world, is that you’ve returned the banner, but the night we spent feeling shitty that we’d lost our friends banner, you’ve done nothing to replace. Worse, you and your friends have proven themselves to be immature idiots with nothing better to do than blow up my phone with your harassment all. day. long.

Then you have to bring Zusi into it. Do you seriously believe that Graham Zusi would honestly tell you to STEAL tifo made by a famous USMNT banner artist? Really? A national team player, knowing all the details, would tell you to keep your ill gotten gains?

You and your friends have insulted supporter culture, admitting you’re too cool to go to games, dress up and yell for the boys we all love. You’ve insulted players by implying that they encouraged you to steal. You’ve called names and cried about how persecuted you are, when you got off for stealing REALLY EFFING EASY.

You’re a disgrace…to the Midwest, Big 12 education, and a poor representative of US Soccer fans. Until you show any understanding of the havoc you created (and continue to try to create) in all our lives, I have zero interest in meeting you, or really ever communicating with you again. You are not welcome, Noah Spake and your thief buddy friends who helped you. Grow up and take responsibility or stay away from me, my family, and my friends.

Or, if you can only digest things in 140 character blips, or you need to hear it from someone besides me, I’ll let Grant Wahl defend my honor any day: “@Noahspake @TanyaKeith @WeberKing @iamthorandmore @gzusi Poor behavior, and that’s an understatement. Making KU (and yourself) look terrible”  (Thanks much, Mr. Wahl!)

8 Comments so far
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I find it extremely inappropriate that you feel the need to make such a huge deal about this. Are you a grown up? You may be a gal but you certainly don’t know how to act like a lady. Do you know what you are? You are a bully. You are a grown up bully. I feel so sorry for you. That’s incredibly embarrassing. Noah may be a “disgrace” but that’s nothing compared to what you are. A bully.
What about when you called Noah an a hole? What about when you asked him where he lived and told him you were going to come over and parent him? Do you know what that sounds like? A bully.
Now you’re completely calling him out on your blog? If you have a problem with someone you go to the source like an adult. So here’s the part where I come in and let you know what a lady might do when a situation like this happens.
If you found out that Noah had stolen the banner then what I suggest you do is send him a direct message.
But lets take a step back. If you wanted to be the bigger person you also had the option of letting it go possibly by not responding. However, again, clearly you can’t do something like that.
But do you know what? It’s ok that you aren’t accepting Noah’s apology because someone else already did.
That being said, a lady would always accept someone’s apology and hope that they are using the utmost sincerity.
Noah has apologized and whether or not it was sincere isn’t for you to decide. He could have sent you a thousand sorry’s and roses to your doorstep but that doesn’t mean he was sorry for anything.

You do realize you can’t make someone feel remorseful, right?

So now i’d like to go over a few things that you’ve said, if you don’t mind.
Throughout the past 48 hours or so, you’ve said multiple times, “Take responsibility.” What exactly does that mean? If you’ll recall, Noah had claimed he took the flag. He also returned it. And he apologized. That sounds like taking responsibility to me.
What exactly makes you think it’s alright to call Noah an immature idiot?
I guess it’s acceptable to call names since he stole something that wasn’t even yours, brought it back, and then apologized.
JUST FUCKING KIDDING. It’s unacceptable.
But you’re a bully so I wouldn’t expect you to understand.

Noah can’t replace the night that you spent feeling shitty about a banner. You’re never going to get that night back so why don’t you just stop talking about it and move on? You can bitch about it all you want but that’s only going to continue to ruin all the times you decide to talk about it. A word of advice, just FORGIVE and forget.

Oh, and just to clarify, Noah didn’t make your children stay up late looking for the banner. YOU made your children stay up late looking for that banner.

I’m sorry that you can’t accept an apology and move on. I hope you teach your two beautiful children otherwise.

Thanks for listening, Tanya The Bully

Comment by Gab

I understand that reading my blog, you might think I’m a bully, but look at the whole picture. I haven’t posted all the tweets that Noah either sent or encouraged his friends to send. I did a quick count: there were 30 tweets after I said I wouldn’t accept his apology when he so clearly wasn’t really sorry for what he’d done. And that’s not including what was said to my friends. 30+ tweets before I posted this blog.

As for being a lady, I find your description of ladylike behavior to be unattainable and undesirable at best. If someone behaves like they don’t understand what they’ve done wrong, how can they be sorry? And in my opinion, accepting an apology to go through some antiquated societal ritual seems inauthentic. That’s just not me.

Comment by soccerfamilystyle

She goes to almost every USA game so it couldn’t have been that bad to miss one

Comment by jo blow

Hi, have we met? Couldn’t be bad to miss one? Guess not.

Comment by soccerfamilystyle

Get a life. Quit bitching about a banner and watch the game. Shit happens in life and you move on. You don’t go writing a 6 page article complaining about bullshit. You got yout banner back plus an apology. Get over it and your pussyass self. I can’t imagine how much you would bitch if you actually lost something that was actually important in your life.

Comment by jo blow

I posted this comment because it had so many errors in spelling and fact, it made me chuckle. Thanks!

Comment by soccerfamilystyle

I’m not exactly sure what this is, but this has to be an absolute joke. A couple college kids steal a banner and you go off writing a blog about them? Not to mention they returned it… Are you crazy? Like seriously, writing this makes everything so much better for you? The more I read it, the more insane I realize you are. If you are so worried about your stupid banners being stolen, then don’t bring them to the game? Sounds pretty simple to me.. Do you think you are some kind of super hero or something that the American Outlaws look up to? Because I am part of the group and I can say that you have just HUMILIATED yourself, the group, and your family. Like who are you? I feel as if you are the one who needs to seek help. Yes Noah did something wrong but from the sound of it he took responsibility… You are the one who is still pushing the issue. Honestly he owes nothing to you… He did everything that was asked of him, he does not owe you an apology what so ever. I’ve showed this “Blog” to multiple people and every single one of them have laughed. It shows you have nothing better to do with your life than to worry about a couple college students who stole a banner… Pretty sad if you ask me.. Leave this guy alone and get a life crazy person. And if I ever see you in your silly 5 year old tiara thing that you wear at a soccer match, i’m going to laugh in your face… Have a nice day 🙂

Comment by YOmom

He did return it, once threatened with arrest. Then bragged about it almost a year later, seeming to encourage people like you to write things like: if you don’t want your stuff stolen, you shouldn’t take those things out into the world.

Because that makes sense…. Noah has contacted me, and I’ve responded. He knows how I feel, and it’s pretty clear at this point how he feels. If it’s fame he wants, as it would appear, tweeting to the artist he stole from, Grant Wahl, DaMarcus Beasley and Herculez Gomez about how cool the banner looked in his room, I’m happy I was able to help him achieve it. If he wanted to show remorse, and tell his side of the story, as he’s told me privately, I’d be happy to do that too, but so far, he hasn’t given me permission to do so.

I’m not the super hero. I just reported something stolen. Sporting KC’s staff are the heroes, tracking the stolen items down and getting them back. I had Noah and a bunch of his friends trolling me on Twitter, and I wrote about it. If you’ll notice, I only add to this post when Noah or his buddies tweets about it. Happy to let this lie anytime you all are.

Comment by soccerfamilystyle

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